ANNUAL MEETING

 

  Location: Arrowhead Country Club (19888 N. 73rd Ave.)
Date: Thursday, April 27, 2006
Guest Speaker: John Dewane
Time:

9:00 AM   Coffee & Conversation
9:30 AM  Buffet Breakfast      
10:00 - 11:30 AM  Meeting & Election

Members and their first guest will pay only a discounted $10.00 per person. Non-members and additional guests will pay the full $12.00 per person cost. The HRC is subsidizing the $2 difference for members & 1st guest.

Mail your checks to:

Honeywell Retirees Club
Honneywell, Mail Drop XO
2500 W. Union Hills Drive
Phoenix, AZ 85027

Please note “Annual Meeting” on your check and how many attendees you are paying for. You may pay at the door ONLY IF you have phoned in your reservation.

Information and RSVP to either:

Lorri Jordan 480 473-1335

Ed Frick 623-561-6917


MAP DIRECTION TIPS:
The East-West road into the Club is West Arrowhead Clubhouse Drive.
Also note if you choose to use the N. 73rd Ave access into the Club, West Beardsley Road is the South frontage road along the 101 Freeway and is ONE WAY going East.

Reservations are required and must be made by April 21, 2006.


HRC ELECTION CANDIDATES INFORMATION

For President: Edward C. Frick

Retired from: GE/Honeywell/Bull 1994  
Last Position: Director, Manufacturing
Other work: Senior management
Interests: Director, Deer Valley Credit Union
Education: Union College – BS Civil Engineering; BA Economics/History

For Vice President: Virginia Clagett

Retired from: Honeywell Bull  
Last position: Project Manager, System Software
Other work: Project Manager for American Express on a Travel Related
Services Internet Application Software
Interests: Travel, Needlework, Volunteer, ESA - a women's leadership,
service organization.
Education: BA in Elementary Education from the University of Arizona,
MBA in International Management from American Graduate School of International Management 1997)

For Secretary: Mary Barkl

Retired from: Industrial Automation & Control in 2006  
Last position: IAC Program Manager in Engineering
Other work: Various positions in Industrial Automation since 1966
Interests: Bowling, skiing, reading, rafting the Colorado,
traveling to Alaska on a cruise this year

For Treasurer: Bert Walker

Retired from: Honeywell Space Systems in 2006  
Last Position: Facilities Manager
Other work: 43 years with GE, Honeywell, Bull, and Honeywell again.
Interests: Pets, woodworking, and gardening
Education: ME from Syracuse and MBA from ASU

For Director: Wally Klovstad

Retired from: Business and Commuter Aviation Systems (BCAS) 1997  
Last Position: Test Engineering
Other work: Honeywell Commercial & Military Avionics in Minneapolis
Interests: Hiking, Reading
Education: BSEE North Dakota State U 1959

For Director: Harold (Harry) Heller

Retired from: Commercial Aviation Systems  
Last position: Director, Human Resources
Other work: Business & Commuter Avionics Human Resource, Glendale
Interests: Hiking, Softball, Travel
Education: BBA Loyola University, Chicago, Ill. 1965

REMEMBER ONLY ONE BALLOT PER ACTIVE MEMBER – BALLOTS AVAILABLE AT ANNUAL MEETING


PRESIDENT'S PERSPECTIVE

Believe it or not we are fast approaching the end of another active year for your HRC. Thanks to Virginia Clagett and her Programs and Events committee of herself, Ed Skutecki and Lorri Jordan for putting together an entertaining schedule of events. Thanks also to Dale Wendt for continuing to lead the golf and Laughlin events, which have become so popular. Our last Laughlin event in March was a sellout and we hope that golfers will make our Spring golf event successful as well.

Although the Spring Pot Luck was a bit blustery due to atypical weather, it was warm with renewed exchanges of friends and associates. Thanks to Shirley Krieger and Don Roeber for organizing this event.

As you may note we have added a number of sporting events this year. Ed Skutecki has led this activity, which required standing in line for several hours to get Spring Training Baseball tickets. The Spring Training event was a sellout as was the Day at the Races. Ed has also scheduled a Diamondbacks baseball game in September to start our new year, so mark your calendars now and get your reservations in now.

I am pleased to report that Honeywell again this year, through Don Wilt's good efforts at Honeywell, is supporting our scholarship program. With their contribution we are able to support one scholarship applicant at each of the three universities, ASU, U of A and NAU. Al Longanecker continues to lead this program for which we all give him our thanks.

Our new photographer, Sharon Forrester , is also a welcome addition to help capture the pictures of our events. Thanks to her for her great photos.

Thanks also to Wally Klovstad for continuing vigilance and dedication in keeping our membership program active and up-to-date.

We have come to really appreciate the changes that have been made with The Bridge . What most do not realize is the amount of time and dedication that it takes each month to make improvements, put together each edition and battle with the printer to get it out on time. So if we were to have an MVP award for the Club it would go by consensus to Charlie Farmer and Ted Rees . Great work guys!! Russ Henzel must also be included in this not only for making our web site always current and informational, but supporting The Bridge editions with pictures from the web on upcoming events.

Our Annual Meeting is coming up on Thursday, April 27, at the Arrowhead Country Club. John Dewane, president emeritus of Honeywell's Space and Aviation Control business, will be our speaker. Thanks to Lorri Jordan for organizing this event as well as our now famous Holiday Party. Lorri has assured me that there will be door prizes lest anyone have doubts. I hope to see you there.

Ed Frick


•  My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. ~Jimmy Durante

•  Santa Claus has the right idea ... Visit people only once a year. ~Victor Borge

•  I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor

•  I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. ~Mark Twain

•  Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up'. ~Joe Namath


 

THE ELECTRONIC BRIDGE AVAILABLE

Each month we have more members signing up for The Electronic Bridge, and most are opting to receive “electronic only”. If you have an e-mail address, you should give it a try. Member feedback has been very positive. You can sign up by contacting us via e-mail at: hotline@hrcaz.org . Please send your: 1) name, 2) e-mail address, 3) if you wish your e-mail address not published in The Bridge periodically, and 4) if you want “ electronic only ” or both electronic and hard copy. You may “opt in” or “opt-out” of this program at any time by simply notifying us via e-mail.

Contributed by : Ted Rees

FIX IT GUYS

This group will help those who need repairs that they cannot do themselves, including minor electrical, carpentry and plumbing problems. You will have the security of having someone you can trust in your house. The cost of material is not covered. The Fix It Guys are Bob, Matt, Dick, John, Mike, Perry, Sam, Paul , Ed, Clint and Gene. Call 602-870-0813.



NAU Students Build Hope on Spring Break

Reprinted from the 3/18/2006 AZ Daily Sun

About 40 Northern Arizona University students were set to embark early this morning on a unique Spring Break trip. They are heading by charter bus to Waveland, Miss., where they will spend eight to 10 hours a day gutting and rebuilding homes that were devastated by Hurricane Katrina last Fall. The group will return to Flagstaff next weekend. Kristin, a junior from Phoenix , co-coordinated the trip with Ann. Both are staff members of Associated Students of NAU, which was responsible for organizing the trip. "I'm really looking forward to it. A lot of other college kids go to Mexico or do things that might not be as beneficial to humanity or society," Kristin said. She hopes to make a difference in the lives of storm victims, even if she doesn't get to meet them. And she wants to see for herself the impact Hurricane Katrina had on so many people. "I'm just really interested to have a firsthand look at what's going on on the other side of the country," Kristin said. "It's more productive than just writing a check or sending money."

The students will volunteer their time on this trip without also paying for expenses, thanks to $30,000 of community support. ASNAU conducted a letter-writing campaign among Flagstaff businesses that brought in $2,300. The NAU President's Fund for Excellence provided $5,000. Other donors contributed the rest of the money. "We couldn't have done it without all the help from the Flagstaff community," Kristin said. She added that students are looking forward to sharing their experiences with the community when they return. A photojournalism student even plans to exhibit photos from the trip on campus. The students will work through Community Collaborations International, a national nonprofit agency that organizes aid efforts worldwide. "We provide the tools and the materials and the students hit the ground running," said Steven Boisvert, a coordinator with Community Collaborations, according to an NAU news release. "We took the brunt of the storm and although there is no environmental damage, we sure need a lot of help. "Students will be housed at the organization's I Care Village, which Halbach calls a "safe" base camp with electricity, running water, modern communications and access to a medical facility. Throughout the month of March more than 600 students from 60 colleges will be staying at the village to help the residents of Hancock County, Miss. "Hopefully it will be a more positive experience than anything else I could be doing," Kristin said.

Sent in by John , father of Kristin


YOUR ANNUAL CLUB DUES

Just a reminder that dues are due May 1st, so please look at your “dues date” on your copy of The Bridge and see if your dues are about to expire. You will want to keep The Bridge coming and to be ready to participate in the many interesting functions planned for our next year.

Membership Chairman: Wally Klovstad


UPCOMING ACTIVITIES

PRESCOTT HRC GET-TOGETHER - April 18 (Tuesday) - FULL!!!

  Where: Gurley Street Grill
230 W. Gurley Street, Prescott, AZ
Time: 11:30 AM
Cost: Pro rata share basis at the event
Reservations: Required – contact coordinators
Coordinators:
Chuck Dumas 928-443-8581 or cldumas@cableone.net
Jean Winslow 928-445-9171 or jeanartw@northlink.com
Ed Frick 623-561-6917 or ecfrick@aol.com

This is a chance for HRC members and friends in the Prescott area to get together and renew acquaintances. The long trip to and from Phoenix for events can be difficult given the traffic on I-17 and the time involved, so we thought a local get-together for those in this area might be of interest. Apparently those members agree as this event is already a SELL OUT! Perhaps this will lead to other such gatherings in the North.

SPRING GOLF OUTING - Monday April 24, 2006

 

Where:

Tatum Ranch Country Club
29888 North Tatum Ranch Dr.
Cave Creek , AZ 85331 , Phone 480-515-5908
(Just southeast of Cave Creek Rd & Tatum Blvd Intersection)

 
Cost: $50 for green fees, carts, prizes and lunch
Time: Shotgun start at 8:00 a.m.

HONEYWELLERS & GUESTS ARE WELCOME

Check-in will be at 7:30 a.m. for cart assignment. Shotgun start at 8:00 a.m. with lunch and camaraderie to follow. Proper golf attire required: soft spiked shoes, shirts with collars and no Levi's. We will use established handicaps (AGA) and use Calloway only for those who do not have handicaps. As in the past, we will play team scores using randomly selected holes to determine the aggregate team score. When submitting your entry, please include your AGA handicap number next to each person's name. If no handicaps are submitted, Calloway scoring will determine handicap. LOTS OF GREAT PRIZES WILL BE AWARDED!

Payment must be in by April 14, 2006 . Send in the names for your foursome along with handicaps and check. If you do not have a foursome, no problem, you will be placed in one. Make checks (non-refundable) to the “Honeywell Retiree Club”.

PLEASE CALL ASAP TO :
Dale Wendt, 7540 E. Becker Lane , Scottsdale , AZ 85260

Questions? Call Dale at 480-922-1402


ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS BASEBALL GAME - Monday, September 11, 2006

 

Game: Arizona Diamondbacks vs. Washington Nationals Come join us for a fun night at the old ballpark. This will be a joint Honeywell/Sperry Club event. Mark your calendars now. Due to our summer break, you will not receive a newsletter in the Fall prior to this game. Make your reservations now by calling or e-mailing Ed Skutecki then make out a check to “Treasurer, HRC”. Send the check to: Ed Skutecki ; 7863 W. Piute Ave ; Glendale , AZ 85308
Starting Time: 6:40 PM
Location: Chase Field (Bank One Ballpark)
Cost: $13.50/seat (Discounted from $27)
Seating: Lower Level, Left Field Line
Coordinator: Ed Skutecki 623-572-9004 e-mail: 33fisherman33@cox.net

Don't mess with seniors!

They went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "Seniors' Special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for  $1.99
"Sounds good," the wife said. "But I don't want the eggs." "Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're
ordering ala carte," the waitress warned her.    "You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" the wife asked incredulously. "I'll take the special."   "How do you want your eggs?"   "Raw and in the shell," the wife replied. She took the two eggs home...


PAST EVENTS

SPRING TRAINING BASEBALL - March 2006

   
 

Twenty of us attended the San Diego/Oakland game at the beautiful Peoria Sports Complex. Our seats were between home plate and first and in the shade. The weather was perfect with a high of 72 degrees. San Diego rallied in the eighth inning to defeat Oakland 6–5. It was a fun day for all who attended.

Contributed by Ed Skutecki

LAUGHLIN OVERNIGHT TRIP - March 14 & 15

Thirty people, with pockets full of money, met the purple [chartreuse] RIDE TO RICHES bus for an enjoyable trip to Laughlin. We enjoyed twenty-four hours of fun and excitement and gambling. The package included a wonderful buffet lunch or dinner, which included wine or beer, a nice room, and a fun book. Tuesday evening many of us attended and enjoyed the “REALLY BIG SHEW” at the Flamingo. This was a take off of the Ed Sullivan show of years past and was VERY enjoyable. We saw an acrobat act, a magician, and a REALLY, REALLY good Richie Valens impersonator, and then it was back to the casino to tempt the fickle fates. Wednesday, just after noon, it was back to the bus, with much lighter pockets for most of us, and our return to our dull, mundane Phoenix lives. Everyone was pretty quiet about their luck, but I am aware of one lady that took $1000+ from the casino's poker slot machines. That will be our incentive to be part of next year's trip...maybe we too will hit the big one. Unfortunately we didn't have a photographer along to document all the fun.

Contributed by Dale Wendt  

SPRING POT LUCK PICNIC – March 21

 

The Annual Spring Picnic was held at the Pima Ramada in North Mountain Park on Tuesday, March 21, 2006.  HRC provided delicious baked ham and rolls for those members attending.  Attendees brought covered dishes of their favorite recipes to share and everyone had more than enough food to consume.  One ham was raffled off by the luck of the draw.  HRC expected about 100 attendees, but unfortunately the weather did not cooperate that day and suddenly turned very cold with threatened rain.

 

Our President Ed Frick awarded door prizes.  The  Don Roeber family was the lucky winner of three bags of  delicious citrus.  Approximately 50 members attended and renewed friendships with their old friends.  Other than a few electrical problems, fun was had by all.  We managed to miss the torrential downpour of another most welcome rain by 10 minutes.

Contributed by Shirley Krieger

IDENTITY THEFT – Friday March 24

On March 24, the Honeywell Retirement Club and the Deer Valley Credit Union sponsored an informational session on I. D. Theft. Sperry Retirement Club and Garrett Retirement Club members were also invited to attend. Thanks to Mark Trump of Deer Valley Credit Union for providing a door prize, appropriately enough, a crosscut shredder.

Dan Drake from the U.S. Attorney's Office presented a very enlightening seminar on the major crime in Arizona , which is I.D. Theft. Arizona leads the nation in I.D. Theft mainly because Arizona is also the leader in meth use, which is paid for from I.D. Theft crimes. There are 10 million victims per year in the U.S.   The sheer number is swamping law enforcement and I.D. Theft is the fastest growing crime in the country.  If you are unfortunate enough to be a victim, plan on taking 600 hours to restore your identity and good credit.  The average cost to a victim to do this is approximately $1,400 of out-of-pocket expenses to the victim.  The criminals pick the low hanging fruit.  In other words, they look for home vulnerabilities, i.e., no security lights, no security signs in the yard or no alarms etc.  Prevention is cheaper than the cure.

So how do the criminals get your information?  They dumpster dive looking for data; they break into mailboxes; they use insider information and burglary and personal theft, as well as public information.  Lot 's of information is available on the Internet about both you and your neighbors.  Dumpster diving alone provides information on medical, insurance, lending and rental information.  Mail thieves burglarize individual boxes, cluster boxes, even the boxes in front of Post Offices or stores where criminals use fishing tackle with sticky tape to fish out envelopes.  Purse and briefcase snatching usually gives a criminal loads of personal information.

DO NOT CARRY YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY CARD ON YOUR PERSON, OR LEAVE IT IN AN UNLOCKED AREA IN YOUR HOME. What can one do to prevent being a victim?  Use Prudence and Prevention!  Don't be the low-hanging fruit.  First, think about the problem.  What is the most effective change you can make to protect your private information?  What can you do to make a crime more difficult to commit? Reducing the opportunity to become a victim is not human dependent and doesn't require special education or information. The principal deterrence is the criminal's certainty of punishment and severity of punishment.  Unfortunately, I.D Theft criminals are not, as of yet, getting stiff prison sentences.  Put up security signs; install tougher locks around your home and appropriate night lighting. Close your garage door and disable it when away from home for any period of time.

Shred, Shred, Shred documents and paper with any information about you or your family.  Pick up your mail from your mailbox daily; use locked file cabinets at home; request regular credit reports and keep computers, purses, and briefcases in your automobile out of sight.  Next time you order checks, have only your initials (instead of first name) and last name put on them.  Do not sign the back of credit cards. Instead, put "PHOTO ID REQUIRED". NEVER PRINT YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER ON YOUR CHECKS .  Place the contents of your wallet and or purse on a photocopy machine. Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc.  Keep the photocopy in a safe place.  Carry a photocopy of your passport when traveling either here or abroad.  We have been told to cancel our credit cards immediately if our wallet or purse or lost or stolen.  The key is having a list with toll free numbers and card numbers handy so you know whom to call immediately.  File a police report in the jurisdiction where your cards were stolen.

But here is what is perhaps the most important of all: Call the 3 national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and Social Security number. 

Equifax: 1-800-525-6285
Experian (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742
Trans Union : 1-800-680-7289

Also contact the Social Security Administration (fraud line) 1-800-269-0271.  For additional information on Identity Theft, log on the Internet to the following Websites:

www.ftc.gov
www.idtheftcenter.org
www.privacyrights.org

Contributed by Shirley Krieger & Ed Frick


An 80-year-old woman was arrested for shoplifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches". The judge asked her why she had stolen the peaches and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied, "6". The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail." Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, "What is it?" The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas." From an e-mail circulated by Ed Skutecki


PHUN IN PHOENIX IS BACK

 

Check out the Phun in Phoenix information, which recently has returned to our web site. This listing of cool things to do in Phoenix each weekend is updated weekly – check it out here. Also a long list of Phoenix area attractions with phone numbers and web sites are listed on this site – a great reference for your activities with family and friends. Check out photos of our past events as well as useful information from past seminars like the recent one on Identity Theft. You'll also find all of our club's upcoming activities, with dates and contact information, plus a copy of The Bridge. If you have any photos of Club activities, we'd love to publish them. Attach the pictures to an email and send to hotline@hrcaz.org.

Russ Henzel, website editor

RETIREE ANSWERS

Q: How many days in a week?
A: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Q: When is a retiree's bedtime?
A: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Q: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it might take all day.

Q: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
A: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Q: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the garage, attic, or basement?
A: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Q: What is the best way to describe retirement?
A: The never ending Coffee Break.

Q: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
A: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Q: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
A: Tied shoes.

Q: Why do retirees count pennies?
A: They are the only ones who have the time.

Q: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
A: NUTS!

Q: What do retirees call a long lunch?
A: Normal .

Q: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
A: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.


HEALTH CORNER

News from Nurse Nance

 

Dr. Grattan Woodson of Emory University School of Medicine and co-founder of the Atlanta Center for Medicine recently said "This new strain (of bird flu) has the potential to kill hundreds of millions (people) given the right conditions.  According to the World Health Organization and the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the required conditions are now in place.  We stand on the verge of a once-in-a-century influenza pandemic."

A word to the wise is "Be Prepared".  For those with web access, check this web site: www.pandemicflu.gov and click on "Planning and Response" for details.

Dr. Woodson said, "My advice is to prepare for the worst and hope for the best."

Be Prepared : “Stock a supply of water and food. During a pandemic you may not be able to get to a store. Even if you can get to a store, it may be out of supplies. Public waterworks services may also be interrupted. Stocking supplies can be useful in other types of emergencies, such as power outages and disasters. Store foods that:

Stay Healthy : Take common-sense steps to limit the spread of germs. Make good hygiene a habit.

Get Informed : Another source for information on pandemic influenza is the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) Hotline at: 1-800-CDC-INFO (1-800-232-4636). This line is available in English and Spanish, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. TTY: 1-888-232-6348. Questions can be e-mailed to cdcinfo@cdc.gov .


Honeywell Blood Drive April 20, 2006

Honeywell Process Solutions at 2500 W. Union Hills Drive holds four blood drives per year. If you'd like to donate on-site, please go to www.BloodHero.com to schedule an appointment (sponsor code is hwlaz15). If you don't have access to this site, you can call Sherry Maxson-Myers (602-313-5438). If you donate at a United Blood Services facility, please ask that your donation be credited to Honeywell account number 777 (Union Hills/I17 location). We are recognized annually for our total number of donations per year and every donor counts. If you have any questions about eligibility to donate, you can call UBS at 1-800-288-2199, x5497.

You can also volunteer your time at the blood drive by helping to sign donors in. If interested, please call Sherry (602-313-5438) to schedule your time.

Donation Reminders


(MESSAGE FROM THE HRC PHONE HOTLINE): “I am 91 years old and am losing my eyesight. I just wanted to call and thank you for the newsletter (The Bridge) that you send out each month.” Edwin  


Challenger Space Center Volunteers

The Challenger Space Center in Peoria, AZ was created following the loss of the space shuttle Challenger to continue on Earth its mission to excite and educate students in science and space. I have put together a series of science exhibits exploring electricity and magnetism leading to an understanding of the nature of light. Most of the current volunteer tour guides here are great with the history of the space program, but are intimidated by the science in these exhibits. We need to find some folks with a background in science that would be interested in sharing some of their time to help educate and excite the public by providing tours through these exhibits. I would be very interested in meeting with some HRC members to offer a brief description of what we do, bring out a few of the exhibits (including a tesla coil with 30" sparks) and see if we can find some volunteer support.

Thank you, Bob Woolley www.azchallenger.org

If you have an interest in this activity, you can contact Bob Woolley at the CSC or leave a message on the HRC hotline (602 313 5050) and we will forward your information to him.


RED SKELTON'S TIPS ON MARRIAGE

  1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
    She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
  2. We also sleep in separate beds.
    Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
  3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back.
  4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
    "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
    So I suggested the kitchen.
  5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
  6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!"
    So I bought her an electric chair.
  7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
    I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
  8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.
    Then the mud fell off.
  9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the
    garbage?"
    The driver said "No, jump in!"
  10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
  11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was "always."
  12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
    I don't like to interrupt her.
  13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
    I said "Dust!"

    Can't you just hear and see him say all of these? This is the old days when humor didn't have to start with a four-letter word......just clean and simple fun!